By any stretch of the imagination one would think that 7
children are plenty for any couple. One father, one mother, 7 children aged 16
to 3. I think anyone would consider that to be a very complete family, if not
an overly large one.
Yet somehow I found myself one night kneeling by my bedside
saying my evening prayers seeking guidance on yet another child. I had been
having an inkling that there was an eighth child, and I was praying for
“clarification”. Ok, I’ll admit I wasn’t looking for an answer. I was trying to
tell God the answer.
My prayer went something along the line of “Heavenly Father are
you serious? I already have 7, I’m tired, I’m old (37), I’m fat, I’m tired, I’m
busy, I spend all day driving my children how can I possibly care for a newborn
oh yea and I forgot how to take care of a baby…” Yes I was throwing out
everything I could think of.
God knows how to cut through all my excuses and attempts at
escape.
As my torrent was bursting forth I had a sudden thought
strike me. “Will you accept this child? He is one of my noblest and greatest.”
But it wasn’t just the thought. At that moment, I knew what it was to be Mary.
It was as if God was Gabriel asking if I would take one of his most precious
children, for to him they are all precious.
Finding myself sitting on the ground in awe I realized how
stupid my excuses sounded. Here is one of his precious children that wants to
come to earth, that wants me to be his mother, and here I am making a stream of
what probably sounds like very trite excuses.
As I sat on the floor dumbfounded, in shock, and very much
humbled, I started reflecting on the amazing example we women have in Mary, the
mother of Christ.
When she heard the message that she was to have a child, she
got a few things clarified and then said “Behold the handmaid of the Lord. Be
it unto me according to thy word.” If I had been her I would have answered “But
I can’t I’m young I’m not married they will stone me, what will the neighbors
think, you have got to be kidding! I am not good enough, smart enough to be the
mother of Your Son...” Modern day translation, “What about my education! My
career!!! I want to have a life first! When
I am older when I have money saved up but only two one boys and one girl I
really want to travel before I have children…” (Yes I’ve done this before!)
Yet she simply accepted. The most frightening thing I can
imagine was to her just so simple.
Here I sit on my carpeted floor realizing that I have been
fighting a child; fighting God over the most selfish and trite things.
I realized that I and each woman asked to bear children
stand in Mary’s place each time we accept one of his most precious children. We
become one with God and his purpose in bringing his children to mortality and
helping them progress to become like him. His most precious work is entrusted
to us.
I struggle. I think. I throw out my excuses. I learn from my
predecessor. I accept. I am Mary.
